


Gray

by Christian_at_No



Series: Bokuro Soulmate AU-Soul Colors [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams, Dreamsharing, Glasses, Happy Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lonely Kuroo Tetsurou, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sad Kuroo Tetsurou, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Teacher Kuroo Tetsurou, Tears, This is complete, and it has a sequel, enjoy, how is that not a tag?, how is that not a tag??, i hope it doesn't suck, implied - Freeform, omg i finished something, soul colors, which is also complete, yaku is the mom friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-15 01:12:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19285045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_at_No/pseuds/Christian_at_No
Summary: It was impossible, I knew, but my brain filled me with small sparks of false hope and doubt.It had been almost a year since my Soul Color had disappeared, and everyone knew what that meant.So it was impossible to see it.Gold couldn’t exist.Because-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Behold, another soulmate AU no one asked for. And, believe it or not, I actually finished this one!
> 
> So this is an AU in where you and your soulmate see the world in shades of gray with the exception of one specific hue unique to the two of you, called a Soul Color; in this case, the golden glow of sunlight. If one of you dies before the two of you meet, you loose the ability to see your Soul Color entirely and your world remains gray. If you meet each other within your lifetime, you will be able to see the world in its colorful entirety, but if you die after you've met each other, you still only loose the ability to see your Soul Color. If you are born without a soulmate, you can only see shades of gray for your whole life.
> 
> With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy!  
> Chris

I was sleepy. My eyes were heavy and not of much use, especially without my glasses. Dawn turned everything into a yellowish blur as the sun leaked in through the window. It was so bright, almost golden.

What time was it, anyway?

A hand ran through my hair and I sighed, content. What did it matter? Time was irrelevant, and those fingers felt nice…

And then I actually woke up.

It was still dark out, my curtains open a little bit, and when I squinted, I could just barely make out the time on the LED display of my alarm clock.

2:34 AM.

I sighed, rubbing my face and flipping onto my side, away from the clock, as I closed my eyes again. It was surprisingly cold, or maybe that was just the loneliness talking again, who knew? My eyes cracked open, gray rectangles and blobs making up my walls and sheets.

Huh…

I could’ve sworn there was more color around me once.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke to a familiar beeping, and my hand snapped out on autopilot to silence it.

Dawn was creeping in through my window, gray with the time, and I felt my chest go heavy. My dreams had been getting increasingly vivid, and yet all I could remember were those damn hands, that golden warmth.

_Bright, bright, bright…_

I winced as I rolled over.

_Gold is impossible. That would mean-_

I let out a sigh and sat up. “...Get your head out of the clouds, Tetsurou,” I murmured, the words falling on the empty air.

_Impossible…_

I shook my head to rid myself of the thought that I’d already forgotten and began getting ready, pulling on my work attire and retreating to the bathroom. I needed to make the train still, so I skipped coffee. The cafeteria sold coffee, I’d be fine.

Probably.

I paused, the toothbrush still in my mouth, and met the eyes of my reflection. Dull. I furrowed my brow and spat the white mess of frothy paste into the sink, running my tongue over my teeth to make sure I got it all before rinsing to be sure.

Maybe I’d make coffee.

I checked my watch.

4:59 AM.

I’d make coffee.

I marched into the kitchen, pulling out the kettle and my french press. I should’ve put the kettle on while I brushed…

I glanced at the calendar on the fridge. June. The second Tuesday, the eleventh. My eyes traveled to the window. It really was cold for summer…

_Or maybe… Maybe it’s just me…_

The kettle whistled.

.

I was late. My first class was an early one, and my last class was late into the evening. I spent all day on my feet, and when my department head offered to take everyone out to lunch, I had to stay and grade papers on concentrations and weight relationships.

I didn’t eat the whole day, even when I got home. My fridge was bare, and my pantry was no better, so I slumped onto the couch to waste away. Why bother?

I must’ve dozed off at some point.

There were hands in my hair again.

But maybe I wasn’t as asleep as I thought, because those hands became very rough very fast. My eyes snapped open at the sharp tug, but I was slow to register the styrofoam cup being shoved into my hand. It was warm and⸺oh, it was cup ramen.

I should’ve realized.

“You look dead.”

I tilted my head to look at the source of the voice, giving a plastic smile as I did so. “Oho? And you look any better?” My voice was weak, and it obviously didn’t do me any favors.

Yaku was... _utterly Yaku_. Short, angry, and my apparent caretaker for the evening. It was like high school all over again.

“You’re probably right,” the intruder sighed. “I bet I look like trash...”

He rubbed at the back of his neck, I guessed in an effort to remove the perpetual tension.

“Oh, yeah,” I added, tone disregarding and terrifyingly airy as I took in the bags under his eyes.

Then I took a whiff.

“And you even smell like _daisies_!” I exclaimed with lame sarcasm.

He scowled. “I just got off of work.”

“Ah,” I managed, turning to my cooling soup cup. “The gym.”

He hummed and we sat in silence for a while before I broke it, “The gym is across town.”

“...Yes?”

I looked up at him from my now empty cup, meeting his gaze; it definitely didn’t taste very great, and it kinda reminded me of college. “Why come all the way over here?”

He looked away.

“Yaku.”

“I was worried about you,” he muttered, awfully quiet, though it seemed startlingly loud in the perpetual silence.

I sighed and my mouth formed an exasperated line, almost a frown. “Don’t worry about me, Yaku. I’m fine.”

He let out a choked excuse of a laugh, and for a moment, I was worried that he’d started crying, until he met my gaze again.

“You’re a liar,” he said, sad smile on his lips and a furrow in his brow.

I didn’t deny it.

.

Yaku had left about an hour ago, and it was late again. I didn’t want to go to sleep.

I couldn’t handle going to sleep. It was too warm when I slept, too bright… Just too different.

So I took comfort in the blank slate that was my bedroom ceiling, in the familiarity of it. Without my glasses, it was left without texture or much of a shape, and it blended into my walls seamlessly. The dim light from the street lamp outside brightened the far wall, if only slightly, and I watched the ebb and flow of the waves of light that washed over it with every passing car as the night wore on.

It was almost therapeutic.

And I fell asleep anyway.

.

There was an absence of an alarm when I woke up, and I realized that it was Wednesday. No classes. No obligations. Just me for the day.

I didn’t like the thought of that.

I stared at my arm for longer than I should’ve that morning, tracing it up and down, noting the way that my fingers blurred around the edges to become one with the shadows of my sheets. It was a stark contrast.

When had I gotten so pale?

I pulled my fingers into a fist and marveled at the way they moved for a moment, sleepiness still ruling my mind to the point where everything was fascinating in its own right. My vision was so clouded with drowsiness, I thought I saw it: bright gold streaming in through my window.

I blinked and it was gone, another illusion. My vision blurred further at the thought, and I felt warmth roll down my cheek.

It was impossible, I knew, but my brain filled me with small sparks of false hope and doubt.

It had been almost a year since my Soul Color had disappeared, and everyone knew what that meant.

So it was impossible to see it.

Gold couldn’t exist.

Because-


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up, there were tears running down my face, and I was confused. It was 4:15 PM, late afternoon; still June, Wednesday the twelfth.

When had I fallen asleep?

The rain kept on, but when I blinked to wipe away the residual golden blur of my dreams, it stayed. I grinned, then frowned, then screamed in agony.

_ It’s impossible to see it. _

_ Gold couldn’t exist. _

_ Because- _

.

I called in sick that Thursday. My tears had refused to stop, and I could barely function.

The drops fell silently as I sat at the dining table, looking out the window in a daze, slowly coming to terms with this new reality. It had been hours, the coffee I had long since served myself was terribly cold now and I hadn’t touched it, but the color had stayed.

I was in shock.

I sat there, wrapped in my flimsy sheet as I witnessed the sun travel across the sky.

_ In all of its golden glory. _

I swallowed. My phone rang. I didn’t move.

It rang again, again, again, but it was a dull buzz amid the constant thrum of my hammering heart.

The door opened, my breath hitched on a sob, and in the silence it sounded like a scream.

“Kuroo?” I heard Yaku cry, hints of fear strung through his voice. “I called. You home?”

Ah, my phone…

“I’m here,” I managed, a whisper that was barely loud enough to hear as I wiped my eyes dry with the sheet. “I’m here,” I repeated with a bit of a dry laugh.

Yaku turned into my kitchen, heaving out a relieved sigh that was too big for his body when he saw me, though his features still held some distress.

“Are...” he trailed off when he saw the wetness of my cheeks. “You’re crying.”

I smiled, not looking away from my kitchen window, thumbing my mug thoughtfully when I responded, “I am, Yakkun.”

He started a bit, the nickname unexpected after so long.

“Are you okay, Kuroo?” he whispered, coming closer to stand at my side. “You… You...”

“I’m happy,” I supplied, voice breaking as more tears sprung forth. “I’m so happy...”

I brought a hand to my mouth to muffle a devastating sob that wracked my whole body.

“Kuroo, wh-what...?” Yaku tried, at a loss.

I met his gaze, looking away from the sight of my mending heart as I beamed at him through my tears.

Then, in a shaking voice, “I can see it again...”

.

We were on the couch, myself with a newly warmed cup of coffee, and Yaku with a dumbfounded expression. He’d tried three times to find the words to speak, anything at all, but everytime he looked at me, he would blank again.

Under other circumstances, it might have been endearing.

“So,” he tried again. “What now?”

I stared into my cup.

“...I don’t know,” was my helpful reply, to which he simply nodded.

“And… You’re sure?” he asked. “ _ Absolutely sure? _ ”

I let out a hollow laugh. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “But I really wanna be...”


End file.
